New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
