STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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