The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
