she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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