areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
