go do what you do best...puke behind churches
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
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