I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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