She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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