Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
