found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
