Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
