My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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