Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
