JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
