There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
there is glitter all over my balls
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