I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
