I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
