dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
These tits shall not be calmed
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
