I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
