his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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