Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
