He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize