When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
