Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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