there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
