Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
