i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize