1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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