Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
we're so committed to being not committed
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
