that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
