all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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