You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
