If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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