haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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