Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
birth control should be required to get into college
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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