The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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