She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
