I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Randomize
