Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
