Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
