I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
