Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
