I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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