i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
