That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
