the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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