I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
the raccoons are back...
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