Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
