is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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