I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Randomize
