after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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