I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
