I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
