____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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