In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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