Only a mothe r could love this liver
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
