Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
