I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
