Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
