i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
