ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
