One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize