Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
