She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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