I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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