found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
