with your own penis?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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